Fiery and Intense

(above picture taken by Silverscape Photography)

My little intense fireball is four today. I'm somewhat sad to see three go. It was a very hard year, but in the last six months I have made huge strides in learning what works and doesn't work with my trick-or-treat boy. We've bonded even more, and I'm actually proud of myself for keeping it together as much as I have because boy, has my patience been TRIED!

Although times can be rough and stinging with my little Scorpio, the times that he pours out his sweetness are unforgettable. I wish more people were able to see this side of him! Maybe they will during this supposed "fantastic" year of being four. Here's to a safe, healthy, fun, and learned year for Ezra.

Before I forget, I want to write down a few things that characterize him and a few quotables as of late:

* Loves to hide under his covers and have Eric find him when he comes home from work.
* Prefers to use the outdoors for el numero uno. Just caught him doing said action off the FRONT porch this afternoon.
* His excuse for not wanting to use the bathroom instead of outside: "There's bacteria in there."
*Detests loud noises--especially ballooons popping. A huge meltdown happened yesterday while at Zurcher's as three balloons popped. Not good. Such an ironic characteristic about Ezra as he is my loudest child! (I think. They're all loud.)
*Would love to go "commando." Asks if he can also go "commando on his feet."
*Has a sharp memory and wonderful vocabulary.
*Would love to play everyday with his cousin, Ben.
*Said, "Put a cork in it, Evy."
*Knows how to cut some rug!
*Loves to help cook.
*Completely needs to have Swedish pancakes every Saturday morning.
*When being secretive he hides whatever he has taken under his covers or pillow.
*Has a desire for everything to be clearly defined and in place.
*Still likes to make an almost nightly appearance into our bed.
*Lately his "I love yous" have far outnumbered his "I hate yous." Progress.

Needless to say, there is never a dull moment with Ezra around, and I'm so thankful to be his mother! Happy Birthday, Little John.

P. S. Scorpio traits:

determined and forceful
emotional and intuitive
powerful and passionate
exciting and magnetic
jealous and resentful
compulsive and obsessive
secretive and obstinate

Happy Birthday to Kerri

So Kerri and I have been sisters now for over fifteen years. I am so thankful for her positive influence in my life. I haven't met many more people who are as outgoing and bubbly as she is. (I still remember the first instant I met her. Eric and I went over to Dave and Kerri's small Provo apartment to play games. We knocked/rang the doorbell. I was so nervous. The door opened and this darling, petite, red-haired girl with THE BIGGEST SMILE exclaimed, "Oh, Eric. She's so pretty!" The nervousness melted away and ever since I have felt nothing but acceptance from her.) She has been a true friend. She sees the best in me. She has patience with me. She loves me. I've learned a lot from her, and I can't imagine my life without her being in it. Happy Birthday, Kerri! Love you!

Celebrating Brent

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Although it's hard to believe, it's official: I have been a married lady for 15 years. I got married at the ripe old age of 20 (three weeks before my 21st birthday). I thought I was so old. Now I just look back and laugh at how naive I was. Naivety aside, it was the BEST decision I ever made. For 15 years I have felt unconditional love and patience with my faults. I have been protected. I have been cared for. I have been complimented. I have been fed. I have been courted. I have been so LUCKY!

I'm such a visual person. Every year around our anniversary, I flip through our photo albums/scrapbooks and take a long walk down Memory Lane. Here are some traditions/themes that are so evident in the many photos we have taken these last 15 years:

1. We love our family.
2. We love to laugh and be silly.
3. We love to travel.
4. We love to visit California.
5. We love to go out on dates.
6. We love to eat.
7. We love the outdoors.
8. We love our sleep.
9. We love to learn.
10.We love the beach.
11.We love holidays.
12.We love to shop.
13.We love learning about remodeling, home decor, etc.
14.We love the bookstore.
15.We love animals.

I'm thankful I have had 15 years to spend with Eric and his family. I can't wait for many, many more!

540 Days

It has been my pleasure to be this little girl's mother for the past 540+ days. Having four children is hard work, but I like myself as a mother much more this fourth time around. I think it's a combination of her cute little personality and the fact that I've learned to slow down, relax a little more with each one and enjoy the ride as it goes by too fast!

Alive and Well

Today makes it 18 days that we've had sickness in our family. Poor little Evy is the only one still with cold symptoms. It all started with her and seems to be ending with her. She seemed to turn a corner today though. I'm so thankful. I was truly getting worried about her (and my sanity).

Today my new lens came in. Thank you to Brent for getting us a smokin' deal! WAY better than the Amazon price! Thank you to Eric for funding my new toy! I LOVE it. I used it to take pics of the kids in the backyard before bedtime. I realized as I was scrolling through the pics that they are visual proof that the kiddos are all on the mend (although Abby never did get sick--lucky girl). It's great to see smiles and pink cheeks again. So, so grateful that a totally healthy family is on the horizon. I will now go find some real wood to go knock on!

Brave Me

I did it. I braved the swimsuit try-on session, and I did it with the two little ones in tow. Poor things. I tried to be as discreet as I could by saying things like, "Look over there. Did you see that__________?" I guess I wasn't 100% discreet as Ezra said (loud enough for all to hear in changing room), "Those big things are weird." I couldn't see myself blush as my skin is darker due to some "base" tanning and an experiment with a spray-on tan.

I would have to say said tan is one reason why trying on swimsuits wasn't as bad as it has been before. Another reason: I've been working out hard (minus the last two weeks or so) for the past seven months. Yes, there are places I would love to shrink and stretch flat again but overall I'm happy with where I am and I'm realistic about where my body should naturally be after having four children. The last reason the session went well is because I discovered Hapari online. Turns out they are a local company down in American Fork. They had raving reviews on their site, and I just had to see for myself. They make some modest swimsuits that SUPPORT and don't look frumpy. Good quality materials. Good design. I'm so glad I supported a local company and can now go to Costa Rica and feel cute and covered up. (My motto is to be comfortable in what I'm wearing around Val or the prophet!) :-) I'll be a returning customer Hapari!

Here is the suit I chose:



I also liked this one:

They had me at orange, but it wasn't as supportive up top as I had hoped.

What Sunday Spawned

To chase some blahs and boredom away while waiting for bedtime, the queen of Crazy Castle spontaneously grabbed a pull up and stretched it over her heeeed. She then proceeded outside to the backyard and pretended to be the pull up ghost for the royal fam. Slowly but surely more pull up ghosts appeared. The pull up ghosts began to chase each other--with baby pull up ghost being the scariest! Some of the pull up ghosts even got creative with the placement of their head gear so that no two looked alike. The ghosts got sillier and sillier and their heads got warmer and warmer until the magical hour of bedtime arrived. And now Crazy Castle has once again survived another Sunday and all is well in their kingdom! Now don't you feel normal! The End.

Meg

A couple of days ago, our Meg died suddenly. It was a shock to our family. It still is. One minute she was running around outside and the next she was dead. The vet thinks it was either a heart attack, stroke, or brain aneurysm. I think it might have been the aneurysm because I noticed an unrecognizable red fleck in her eye when trying to "wake" her up.

She was ten years old. Next month she would have been part of our family for ten years. Even though she was ten, I just didn't expect her to die for a few more years. No decline in health at all. Just our regular ole Meggers. Running, playing, barking, sneaking food, etc.

I'm grateful she didn't suffer. I'm grateful she died doing what she loved best. I'm grateful I didn't have to watch her decline. I'm grateful she has been released from her tripod of a body. (I picture her running like she used to when we lived in Cali. Maybe she's playing with Ellie?) But it's dang hard that I didn't get to say good-bye, throw her one last ball, and give her one last hug. The last two days have been tear-filled. Today has been better, thankfully. I know it will get easier, but the emptiness our family feels right now is difficult and knowing we won't ever find another sweet dog like Meg is difficult as well.

Yesterday I spent over an hour looking through pics of Meg. (Thanks Kerri for watching Ezra.) Tons and tons of her until Ezra was born. A major decline after his birth. I guess three children did throw me somewhat of a curve ball. I'm thankful for pictures and how they have allowed me to process her life and remember her impact on our family. I have been reminded of the good and the bad. Let's start with "the bad" first.

I will not miss:

*her stinky bloopers.
*her poop.
*her propensity to chew on things. When she was a puppy she chewed on parts of our brand new table and chairs (and more) and recently would chew on the kids' toys.
*her barking at the doorbell.
*her sneaking food off the kitchen counter. Too many times to recount.
*her bad breath.
*her whip of a tail.
*her digging. Yes, even with only one leg in front she could still dig.

I will miss:

*her companionship. She was there for me when times were so tough only Eric knew. Eric asked her to take care of me, and from that day on she did. If I was severely depressed she somehow knew and would come from nowhere and be by my side. I'm really going to miss that feeling that even if no one else cared, Meg did. I guess I have an extra guardian angel now.
*her sweet demeanor. Aside from her tail, there was not a mean bone in her body. I never worried about my babies crawling on her. They would pull her tail and fur and she would remain patient with them.
*the sense of safety she gave to me. Even though she didn't have a mean bone in her body, I felt safe with her. If a stranger walked by or she heard a strange sound she would bark her deep bark in warning. I felt safer when Meg was with the children outside. She loved them and seemed to keep "tabs" on their whereabouts.
*playing silly games with her.
*her "frapping."
*her love of the water.
*her soft ears.
*her sweetness.
*her head tilting to the side when we said, "Do you want to go on a walk?" or "Do you want to go see Ellie?"
*her resilience.
*her unconditional love.

Meg was a great dog and deserves to be mourned over. I miss her terribly and am thankful to the unconditional love she gave to our family.

LOVE AND MISS YOU, Meggers.


One of the first pics taken of her after Eric brought her home from the Santa Ana Animal Shelter when she was two months old.

One of the last pics taken of her less than a month ago at age ten.

A Trip to the Zoo

After planning my week's activities around the weather, my two homies and I packed up and headed out to the zoo on Monday. I'm glad we were able to enjoy the pleasant weather and see most of the animals outside also enjoying the calm before the storm. The animals were very active--especially the white-handed gibbon who was calling up a storm to his woman. She would have nothing to do with him and continued to ignore his incessant whoops. Finally she swung away, and he followed her. Typical. My second favorite moment of the trip. My first was seeing the grins on Evy and Ezra's faces while taking the train ride. So fun for them. So cramped for me!

Ezra's favorite stop was the elephant encounter. All three elephants were out. Baby Zuri (sp?) was playing while the other two ate and ate. Evy loved everything. Seeing the world through her eyes--excitement and learning around every turn--was rewarding to me. Even though it has been hard being a stay-at-home mommy lately, walking into the zoo that morning in the fresh air I felt very grateful to Eric that he enables me to stay home and have fun and educational outings with my kiddos.

Here are a few shots taken that day. I shot them in RAW and bumped up the clarity and contrast a little. Someday when I get better lenses I'm hoping I'll get clearer, crisper images in the camera!

A Layout Just For Fun

Latest Obsession

So I am obsessed with photography right now. I've always LOVED photography. There is a picture in my parents' magnetic photo albums that I took when I was five. I was mesmerized at a very young age. I took photography classes in high school and served on the Yearbook staff. I loved burning and dodging in the darkroom. After high school I always had a camera handy, but exploring this art form was put on the back burner to study, and meet an awesome guy, and get married, and move, and teach, and then have children. The excitement for taking pics returned after having Abby and has compounded with each child.

Now that Evy is 16 months, I feel like I can start delving into past hobbies again. And so my love affair with pictures and capturing images is being reborn. I am pouring through material, attending a class once a week (thanks, Eric), and looking for other oppoturnities to educate myself because it's my goal to get off auto mode and stay in manual. This week I have stayed in manual. It has been a great learning experience. The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know--kind of like motherhood. It has been way more rewarding to see an image and realize I, not the camera, figured that one out. There have been lots of yucky ones, too, but I'm learning from everything!

I think after "mastering" manual mode, I want to try more with off-axis lighting. For now, I will continue to LOVE, LOVE natural light. Here is a pic I took today exploring depth of field a little more. I really like how it turned out. Plus, I really like how Ezra is smiling. We haven't seen that too much around here lately!



f5.6 @ 1/80 sec ISO 800 to help with a faster shutter speed

Matter of Time

A couple of weeks ago, Will communicated to me that he was having trouble reading the hymn numbers at the front of the chapel. I then started to notice him squinting at things from across the room. I made an appointment with our eye doctor right away and found he was 20/60 and 20/80. It was just a matter of time, I guess, before he got glasses due to his parents' genes. Oh, and braces are probably in his future. Our poor kids! Four days later he know sees life in "3-D" as he puts it. I wonder how long life was in 2-D for him? Poor guy. May the rest of his life be in technicolor!

Day 4

Day 3

Day 2

Day 1

I am enjoying going through the hundreds of pics I took in Cali last week. We made our annual pilgrimage down there to get out of the yucky weather/drabness/etc. Our family had a memorable time, and I thought I would present some of my favorite photos through completed digital layouts. So now I'm blogging AND getting layouts done. Sometimes I do surprise myself with a good idea here and there! Here is a layout I did tonight summarizing our first day in So Cal. (P.S. Doesn't Briana look amazing in her picture?)



P. P. S. The picture of Evy was taken as she ate dirt from the lakebed. Ahhh, that poor fourth child of mine.

A testimonial on what I've been doing the past four months

I love Obsidian. Plain and simple. It is an awesome workout combined with an emphasis on healthy lifelong eating habits. It rocks my world, but it is transforming my body like no other workout I’ve experienced before, including: running, step aerobics, Body Combat, and Body Pump.

Before starting Obsidian four months ago, I had been out of a consistent workout loop for quite some time due to health issues and body injuries from skiing (back and knee). I was nervous about injuring myself further, but the opposite has been true. I have had no knee pains during or after the workouts (although I still have some knee problems after running) and strengthening my core has helped compensate for my injured lower back.
Both the type of workout Obsidian is and the personal attention on improving my form from Lacey and Erin are the reasons why I have no troubles with my knee and back during and after workouts.

This personal attention from Lacey and Erin does not stop during the workout. They help with form, they cheer you on, they push you during class, but they also give incredible attention and advice to each Obsidian participant after the class as needed. I have been amazed at all the personal attention they have given to me in the form of analyzing my caloric intake, suggesting specific choices for food, and answering any and all questions I have about getting stronger and healthier. A friend from California remarked at “what an awesome deal” I am getting through Obsidian. I wholeheartedly agree.

In all, I have enjoyed the personal attention, motivation, and education I receive each week while attending my Obsidian classes. In the last four months, I have lost 25 pounds and more than 30 total inches. I feel healthy. I’m stronger. I no longer get daily headaches. Moving around is easier. My spirits have lifted. As a mother of four active children, I’m so thankful to the huge impact Obsidian has had on my life. Thanks so much to Lacey and Erin!

Baptism Day

Last Saturday was a beautiful day as Abby chose to be baptized. She had been looking forward to that day for a long time! We were so thankful to the family and friends who were able to come and missed my parents who could not be with us.

I was worried that in all the frenzy of getting ready for the baptism and the luncheon afterward, I would be too anxious to feel the Spirit. I'm thankful to say that I did have a sweet experience, and it came when the Stake Primary President had Abby stand up in her baptism clothes while the rest of us sang "When I Am Baptized."

I like to look for rainbows
whenever there is rain
And ponder on the beauty of
an earth made clean again.

I want my life to be as clean
as earth right after rain.
I want to be the best I can
and live with God again.

I know when I am baptized
my wrongs are washed away,
And I can be forgiven and
improve myself each day.

I want my life to be as clean
as earth right after rain.
I want to be teh best I can
and live with God again.

It was a moving experience to see my sweet girl sing these words and to be surrounded by those who love her so much. I'm so thankful for her example to be baptized, and I'm so thankful that Eric was worthy to baptize her. I'm thankful for Lynn and Val who raised such a wonderful son, and I'm thankful for my parents for their support felt from far away. My heart is full for all my blessings!

Crazy Eight

Crazy Castle has just become crazier. That's right, our Abby Sue (as we jokingly call her) has officially turned EiGHt today. A big deal in my book. A BIGGER deal in hers. How did we get to the place where our firstborn is ready to be baptized? I have no idea. Like I've been told: The days drag on but the years fly by. It's so true.

The road to EiGHt has been paved with different sorts of stones. Some have been polished, some have been beautfiul, some have had dings, and some have been volcanic, but I wouldn't have it any other way as Miss Abby Sue is such a blessing to have in Crazy Castle.

She is precocious.
She is strong and athletic.
She is a great friend.
She makes other people feel loved.
She is strong-willed.
She is careful.
She loves truth.
She is a helper.
She is motivated.
She is sweet.
She is artistic.
She is smart.
She is beautiful.
She lives life OUT LOUD!

I'm glad she's only EiGHt so that I can have more time in my castle with this special spirit I have been entrusted with. I love my Abby Sue!